


Not Today

by BeccaGreenleaf



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drabble, Post Face the Raven, Pre Hell Bent, lonely doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21537520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaGreenleaf/pseuds/BeccaGreenleaf
Summary: The Doctor was used to companions leaving. He wasn't used to companions dying.
Kudos: 6





	Not Today

**Author's Note:**

> This was a really random idea that I got thanks to seeing the clip of Clara facing the raven :)

Sometimes the Doctor forgot they could die, his companions, and sometimes, just sometimes, he didn't want to remember. 

The faces of everyone flashing through his mind. Usually they didn't die, usually they left, however far and sometimes unwillingly. But once in a while, they don't come back, and the Doctor's left with the bitter remains, the memories that just won't leave him. That empty hole that his entire race had left in him, that never filled up.

Adric, Rory, Amy, Clara.

His count was up by one today. 

His fingers gripped tightly to the buttons on the console, his eyes threatening to spill over in a way they never did. 

He knew, of course, that part of every journey was the ending, and that the ending, however bittersweet, was important. That you had to allow people the dignity of their choices, no matter how it hurt. 

Clara, his impossible girl.

Surely that was the answer? She was impossible, she could come back.

Adric, Rory, Amy, Clara.

Not today.

The Doctor knew then, that no matter what Clara had said, no matter how brave she had been, he couldn't lose her. He worked the buttons of the console with a knowledge and experience only he could have. 

Not today.

That was his mantra after all, wasn't it?

Not today.


End file.
